CANJIKA

georgetakei: Gravity, get on the ball. Adding to bucket list:...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 23:34:36 -0400

Gravity, get on the ball.

Adding to bucket list: attempting this thing!

Appreciate Silence

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 23:07:36 -0400

When was the last time you did something without worrying, without thinking about the next thing, without checking the clock, without hurrying… did something and enjoyed it, focused on that moment?

I know it has been a while for me, so I decided to do that today. And for a simple 30 minutes, I felt peaceful… because I wasn’t listening to music, to TV, reading or paying attention to anything. I just sat there, and breathed. And it felt amazing. Completely disconnected from this world, I enjoyed every second of it.

I suddenly felt this wave of sadness and feelings of “I’m not enough” as I drove back home from a long day. part of it may have been because I was tired, part of it may have been because I was genuinely disturbed by a documentary I had recently watched in my last class that evening. But I know most of it, were thoughts, feelings, and realities I had buried deep down wherever these things are stored in - our brains, unconscious, hear or soul, whatever you believe in. Deep dark “secrets” I avoid thinking about, and although I know therapy, talking, letting it out with a friend is the solution, I avoid at all costs. Thinking about it, letting my own self know about it, hurts. I hit a wall. I cannot imagine myself dealing with these problems at least for another few years. My point is, this wave emerged from within me and in seconds I had the urge to do something… stop the car, walk, cry, write, soemthing. So it hit me, and just 2 feet before I passed this narrow street I took a right and I knew where I was going. To church. I doubted it would be unlocked because there was no mass or service at that time (not that I know the schedule because I rarely ever go to mass like most Catholics). But I went. ANd the third door I tried was unlocked; the choir was practicing. So I sat there. Just sat there, and talked to myself, to Jesus, to Mary, to my Angel, to my God, to whoever you believe in. And then I literally just sat there and looked forward, and it was all a blur ahead of me. I wasn’t paying attention to anything, looking at anything. I was just sitting there, my mind blank. And it felt so good. Peaceful like I hadn’t felt in a while.

We have forgotten how to appreciate silence, so we rarely ever listen to our inner voice, our own thoughts, because so much is thrown in our direction we are used to taking it in, and rarely, if ever, take the time to analyze all the information, think critically about it, consider it.

In one of my classes today, the professor discussed gender and stereotyping, and he said something specific to that topic that I think can be applied to our lives in general He said something around the lines of: we are defined by the ideas that society have of us, and not by who we actually are, maybe because we never think about the messages the world is giving us, we just take it with no questions asked.

This idea is the perfect explanation for stereotypes in the media, women’s depiction in advertisement and so forth… And that is exactly what happens. We see the world around us and learn what we should do as a man, as a woman, as a student, as a professional, as a Black, white, or Latino person. Where do we learn what to wear? What to buy? What to say? What is cool? Most of us are directly influenced by the world around us, and what the all mighty, powerful society tells is good, necessary…

But, anyway… the point is we are used to taking in, without thinking. We are used to running with it, and rarely, if ever, listen to the silence within us that sometimes is all we need.

sosuperawesome: Megan Noel, on Tumblr Her shop Beautiful,...

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 12:03:00 -0500

sosuperawesome:

Megan Noel, on Tumblr

Her shop

Beautiful, inspiring, soothing. Ahhh… I love art that makes me feel warm inside.

Desabafo.

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 12:01:55 -0500

When I think I have it figure our, that I am going to be able to focus and go forward, strive, Something knocks right off my feet, onto my knees, or flat on my back, or maybe even flat on my face. I feel tied to the ground, searching for barely enough strength to survive, to get through what knocked me down and the degrading, consuming, demanding, hungry, needy negative emotions it brings with it. I cannot strive if I am constantly simply trying to survive and get through problems. How does one do that?

At the same time I want to allow myself time to grieve, I don;t want to seem “weak” and let negative things spread its consequences like a virus to other aspects of my life. I want to get past it and strive in other areas. Use this sorrow and turn it into strength in other things I know I am good at. Balance.

I know I do need time to grieve. But at the same time I cannot allow myself to lose or waste time while there are so many things I need to finish, deadlines I have to meet. Maybe if I did take the time to grieve, I would feel better the next day to conquer the world. But then also, the next day I would feel guilty for not have done “anything” the day before.

Desabafo.

Sozinha, eu penso melhor.

I want that flatnessss!

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 22:08:01 -0400

I want that flatnessss!

“No arrependimento verdadeiro é preciso saber falar, para construir de novo.” Chico...

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 01:20:12 -0400

“No arrependimento verdadeiro é preciso saber falar, para construir de novo.”

Chico Xavier

"Nosso Lar"

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 00:14:49 -0400

“Buscai a verdade antes que a verdade vos surpreenda. Suai agora para não chorardes depois.”

Chico Xavier

By Maria Ortiz

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 00:37:13 -0400

By Maria Ortiz

"stop thinking, start writing"

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 00:28:51 -0400

“stop thinking, start writing”

"time to stop dreaming & complaining, and start changing some things."

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:34:17 -0400

“time to stop dreaming & complaining, and start changing some things.”

For lack of a better, more descriptive word of how I feel right now, f*ck these rules created by...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:44:53 -0500

For lack of a better, more descriptive word of how I feel right now, f*ck these rules created by society. I am fed up with sexism, classism, racism, ageism, stereotypes, and any type of categories we have put ourselves in.

Why is it that today you can’t be a “good woman” and like sex? This is 2012, not...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:36:43 -0500

Why is it that today you can’t be a “good woman” and like sex? This is 2012, not the 1700s. It is disgustingly amazing to me that sexism, double standards and hypocrisy still exists and rules over society.

I just can’t focus…. Anxious. Overwhelmed. I feel like a teenager. Need to get my...

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 15:35:17 -0500

I just can’t focus….
Anxious. Overwhelmed. I feel like a teenager. Need to get my emotions together and not get run over by them.

I truly believe He compensates us, balancing out our losses and victories throughout our lives....

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:27:05 -0500

I truly believe He compensates us, balancing out our losses and victories throughout our lives. Today I received a phone call that might just change my life, better yet, it might just save my life. I hope this is an honest attempt of help & that everything works out. I hope that in some way I can give back to this person who is willing to help me out so much. & I hope this person is coming into my life with an honest, open heart.

can you see me there…

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 19:27:22 -0500

can you see me there…

"Does it mean you truly love someone when even though they have hurt you endlessly you still wish..."

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 23:14:29 -0500

“Does it mean you truly love someone when even though they have hurt you endlessly you still wish them the best?”

This is me, revealed.

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 02:48:46 -0500

This is me, revealed.

to do list....

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 02:46:01 -0500

shower. have breakfast. make-up. turn my swag on. be strong. be firm. be proactive. be fierce. confident. positive. POSITIVE. grateful. GRATEFUL. no ums. It’s yes, no or I don’t know. be honest. prompt. effective. straight to the point. JOYFUL. enjoy everything and anything that comes along. good and bad times. find its purpose and make it a good experience. good or bad times. be curious. ask questions. never settle. try. push. go the extra mile. don’t simply accept without further attempts. KEEP TRYING. make up your mind. decide. stick with it. fight for it.

Photo

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 02:25:20 -0500

the long night before the big day

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 02:19:41 -0500

sometimes we forget who we are…
I have been living for the mere purpose of fitting in, feeling accepted, pleasing others in order to do so. waste. what a fucking waste. so much so that I never really found who I am in reality. I aways so afraid of being myself, and honestly only because I was always afraid to be judged and never accepted. I know that if I had not hesitated so much for fear I would have been “accepted” more easily, by just being myself. Myself. Simply being who I am. But then again, who is that? Why does she hide?